So it’s been a while since we last checked in. Sorry about that. But rather than waste your time with some rambling rationale, let’s jump right in to the highlights. We brought Kate home 6 months ago on July 30. We had our first “post-adoption check-in” with our social worker this week, and it looks like they’re going to let us keep her. Kate has made wonderful progress, but a lot of it is gradual and sometimes tough to capture with a snapshot. We’ve fattened her up a bit and put some more hair on her head: +5 lbs, + almost 3 inches in height, and her hair looks moderately less boyish. She got over her grudge against her grandmothers and other family members. She jumped right in to new environments at school and at church, and seems to have no trouble making friends there. She’s making good progress with English. I’d say she understands 80%+ of what we say, and we understand about the same from her. Obviously she’s behind Sam in vocabulary, pronunciation, etc, but there are some weeks when she really advances. It’s cool to see how far she’s come in 6 months starting from absolutely zero English. One year ago we were reading through the packet of information from the orphanage about this precious little girl who liked to impersonate her care-givers and seemed to be the life of the party. We had a tough time seeing that side of Kate when she was catatonic those first few days in China, but it only took a few days back home for her to show her true colors. We’re so proud of her and how she’s adjusted to a whole new world.
On her first Thanksgiving, she put that vibrant personality on full display for the 30 person audience at Dawn’s grandmother’s house. With everyone gathered in the living room, she practiced her gymnastics routine and showed off her neck-breaker flip, before taking several deep bows to the delight of her crowd. Sam didn’t want to be shown up, of course, so he strategically waited to siege the stage until Kate took her nap. Then he launched into a performance of his own. Channeling the tent revival preachers of the Bible belt, he riffed off of the chorus of a popular praise song, shouting “glory to God for Aunt Ju-Ju, glory to God for Uncle Stan.” After working up a sweat and lifting up every member of the family, we realized that we have a pretty dynamic set of virtual twins.
Kate’s first Christmas was definitely one to remember. We’re fortunate to have almost all of our family members within a 90 minute drive [except Uncle Ben and Aunt Natalie]. The kids were certainly pumped about Santa. Throughout December, Sam asked us many times a day “is it Christmas Eve time when Santa Claus comes?” I think their excitement will grow for the next few years, along with their comprehension. That comprehension thing became clear when Sam asked us his familiar question on Christmas Day, late in the afternoon. “When is Christmas Eve time, when Santa Claus comes?” “Well, buddy, he came last night. That’s where your train table came from.” “Oh, but I didn’t see him.” So, we have some room to grow in the imagination department. Who know how much of the whole thing Kate understood, but she was certainly very enthusiastic about it all. She is generally enthusiasitc about nearly everything, so that was even more pronounced around the holidays. She sang a song for the entire family on Christmas Eve (with her microphone). We adopted her a month after her birthday this year, so this was the first time she had ever opened more than one gift at a time, and she did so with gusto!
During our adoption application, our parents had to commit to treating our adopted daughter just like our biological child. And at Christmas, they certainly lived up to this promise and went above & beyond. Dawn’s parents assembled a complete dress-up wardrobe for each kid, with everything from Diego to Ariel and a cowboy to Snow White. Our future thespians thoroughly enjoy dressing up and acting out roles/characters with gusto! My parents and sister celebrated the first Christmas with a grand-daughter [& niece] by passing on a family heirloom of sorts. My folks bought a dollhouse for my sister Sharon about 25 years ago, but Dad and Sharon took it to a whole new level for Kate. They installed working doors, tile floors, and hundreds of stained shingles to create a true masterpiece. So far the house has survived its first month with 3 year old “landlords” with no noticeable injuries. And to ensure equal treatment for Sam, my dad cooked up some magic from his own Santa’s workshop, and made Sam a tractor and trailer patterned after Burt’s pumpkin farm. Sam was thrilled with this all-important addition to his farm, since he’s determined to be either a cowboy or farmer when he grows up.
The cowboy and farmer are both companions of the horse, and Sam is OBSESSED with horses. His 4th birthday will be in October, but he’s already inviting his friends at church & school to his cowboy birthday party. We’ve rented tons of books and movies from the Smyrna library about horses, cowboys, and the Old West, and Sam can’t get enough. He loves to role play as the farmer, and adults are relegated to the top animal roles. Our babysitter, a 15 year old girl, came in last week and Sam said, “hi Daisy! You’re a COW!” His intentions were surely harmless, and she took it in stride, but I gave him some quick tips about the harmful repercussions of such accusations. The other day we all went to the eye doctor. When I walked back into the waiting room full of adults, my son greeted me from across the room by saying “you’re a good horse.” I guess it’s better to be a good horse than a bad dad. Kate is a bit more balanced in her affections. She plays cowboys and farmers along with Sam, but also enjoys cooking in her kitchen, taking care of her babies (with expertise I’m sure she learned in the orphanage), and doing puzzles. When we first got Kate, I literally think she had never seen a puzzle before, she had no idea what to do with it. Now, not only are puzzles one of her favorite things to do, she’s actually gotten really good at them!
Some tests have determined that Kate has some hearing deficits. So she misses some sounds and may have trouble pronouncing those sounds. We’ve started the process with Early Intervention to get some speech therapy going. Our ENT believed that the hearing deficits are due to a ruptured ear drum, probably from an ear infection when she was younger. We were pretty surprised when the doc discovered the hearing issue, because Kate seems to hear trains when they’re 10 miles away in Marietta. We did know that she has some vision deficiencies because of the albinism, so we took Kate to a pediatric ophthalmologist in the August. He didn’t mention immediate steps we should take but we recently learned about some good resources through the Center for the Visually Impaired [CVI]. It’s pretty eye opening [sorry] for our kids to be around folks who have much bigger vision challenges. Her case of albinism is certainly milder than many, and it doesn’t seem to be much of an issue at school yet. We have another assessment in a few weeks, and she may qualify for a weekly class at CVI to help strengthen her weaknesses. Dawn is doing a fantastic job leading the charge to help Kate adjust and get the resources & advocacy she needs. And Sam came home from CVI requesting a walking stick because he thought the “kids who couldn’t see with their eyes” were really cool.
People often ask me how Sam & Kate are getting along, and I usually say that they act like I think normal 3 year old twins would act. Which means that they hug & giggle in one minute and then claw & scratch the next. But I interpret that to mean that we’ve settled into a normal relationship, and they both miss the other one when they’re apart. Sam introduces Kate sometimes as his sister, sometimes as his twin sister, and other times as his wife. We’ll work out the details as we go.
We’re committed to building Kate’s understanding of Chinese culture and her Chinese heritage, so we’ve been reading some books about Chinese New Year and stuff. (The Year of the Tiger starts in 2 weeks; does that mean Mr. Woods will make a recovery?) Kate really seems to take pride in her native country so far. When we pay her a compliment like “aww, Kate, you’re sweet” or “what a pretty girl”, Kate will quickly rebut it with “no, Kate’s Chinese!” Yes, Kate, that too.
One of the challenging parts of learning English is mastering the slang, so we’ve worked hard to accelerate the learning in this critical area. Lately when I leave for work, Kate wishes me well with a “Peace, Dad” and flashes the sideways peace sign with a healthy dose of swagger. Makes me so proud it almost brings a tear.
