The trip is coming to an end, and we’re looking ahead to the adventure that will unfold. We leave in less than 24 hours and embark on Kate’s first flight, and well, I hope she likes it because we’ll be up there a while. Yesterday our guide went to the Consulate on our behalf and finalized the paperwork. Today we’ll all go back to the Consulate for a ceremony to make it official, and then we’ll be ready to re-enter the U.S. It’s a huge praise that all the paperwork has gone smoothly and that it appears we’ll avoid any extended stays here or crazy swine flu quarantines. I’ve been wondering a lot about many unknowns. How will Sam react when we come up the escalator in the airport with his new big sister? Will she really learn English from him as quickly as I think she will? How long will it take Kate to adapt to a new home, new sights, sounds & smells, a new playmate, a new bed… the list goes on. What does Kate think about this whole adventure? I imagine that a lot of her thoughts are still about missing her buddies & caregivers at the orphanage – the people she trusted, and the routines she knew. When will she understand and accept that we are Mom and Dad? Most 3 year olds I know aren’t that great at articulating their deep thoughts, so we’ll probably never know what she’s going through. I read somewhere that it’s common for parents to also grieve the “loss” of their new child’s pre-adoption years – to not know when she walked, when she talked. And like most folks, our house is full of pictures of Sam from birth to now, but will Kate wonder where her 1 year pictures are? We obviously can’t answer many of these questions now, but we’ll walk together through the adventure, trusting that God has a plan for her and for us, to ‘give us hope and a future.’ If I sound nervous or pitiful, that’s not the sentiment or the intent; it’s more like the excited uncertainty that says “I can’t wait to see how this plays out.”

One thing we do know about Kate: she definitely has a fun, silly side. We saw it in her 3^rd birthday pics that they sent from the orphanage, and we’ve seen it at least once a day for the past several days. Last night at dinner, she was eating great and having a grand time playing with mommy. Those of you who know Sam know that he also loves to be silly and loves to perform. I’m excited to see the “Sam and Kate show.” We’ll be sure to add a few updates when we get back to let you know how our two co-stars are doing as they share the stage. [We appreciate your prayers on that whole “sharing” part.]

Lions, tigers and bears! Oh my!

Kate likes action. Since yesterday, she falls apart whenever we come back to the hotel room. It doesn’t usually last too long, but it’s a funny sign to us that she wants to be out and about, seeing the sights.

So today we visited the zoo and went on an awesome dinner cruise. The zoo was cool and surprisingly huge for a city / country where limited space & crowds take on a whole new meaning. [I think sports like badminton, table tennis, & to some extent basketball are popular because there’s just not room for soccer & baseball fields.]

Kate enjoyed seeing the tigers, pelicans, elephants, monkeys and my personal favorite: squirrels & chipmunks [in an actual exhibit, not just scurrying around]. (Look closely at the picture below.)

Tonight Dawn was reading her a book with animals and Kate mimicked Dawn’s monkey sound – another exciting first. [Dawn does a great monkey sound so Kate’s learning from the best.]

Kate is feeling much better and the antibiotics took care of her bronchitis. She still has a runny nose but her improving health is a big blessing. She’s a picky eater, but she’s ok with apples, eggs, broccoli & fries. And it’s not like we’re forcing her to eat just western grub; she rejects the rice & pork about as often as the American breakfast items. We think she may just be flexing her muscles a bit to exert some control in a new world where she probably feels very out of control.

We may have a future softball star on our hands. When she picks up a ball, she’ll often clap it with the other hand, as if to say “batter up!” And today she embraced her Hello Kitty baseball cap, which is a good step in sun protection. Hopefully between the nuclear grade sunscreen and my attempts to be her umbrella caddy, she’s getting the necessary protection.

Tonight our group had dinner on a boat, cruising through Guangzhou on the Pearl River, which our hotel overlooks. We had a blast! Tomorrow is our 8th wedding anniversary, so this cruise may have been the early celebration. It was fun to see the city in a new way, and Kate enjoyed the neon lights on many of the buildings.

We also taught her how to play peekaboo, which she enjoyed [even playing some with me!] The only problem with peekaboo is that “boo” sounds just like the mandarin word for “no”, so I’m trying to re-brand a childhood ritual as “peek-a-hi”. It wasn’t easy for Kate to call it a night, but she calmed down pretty quickly and she’s still sleeping great – about 11 hrs a night - which we know is another huge blessing.

A Day at the Park

I suspected that today would be a good day when Kate woke up smiling. On previous days, she woke up like me and Sam, which is slow and a bit groggy. Today, when Dawn greeted her with the usual “ni hao, mao mao”, she scooted off the bed and showed off her toothy grin. We visited a local park this morning, and she agreed to her first stroller ride! We saw lots of interesting stuff at the park: 20+ kids playing in a kiddie pool full of little goldfish that they could catch with nets [so cute], and a group of 60 year old women playing hackysack [I joined them and they schooled me], and a cool old man with a parrot. Kate let me give her some water at the park; it was a scorcher, so desperation can be a magical thing! Overall Kate had a great day.

We broke up our routine of only Chinese meals and hit up Subway for lunch; one of a few western restaurants near our hotel. Kate wasn’t into the sandwich but she liked Pringles and she loves apples. Tonight she let me give her some ice cream, which was a tender moment given my fondness for ice cream. Beyond the Subway and 7-Eleven ice cream, the food here has been fantastic. Our guide Elvin has taken us to a Chinese restaurant for lunch & dinner every day, and Dawn captured it well: we think the places are legit because they’re full of Chinese, not westerners, but Elvin is probably ordering some of the tamer items on the menu to appease the gringo palate. Last night we branched out with some pigeon – very tasty! Tonight we had 3 more families join our group [they had been in Beijing meeting their children], and tomorrow I think 4 more families arrive, so tomorrow night we will be “that group” of Americans piling out of the tour bus.

Kate had another big break-through tonight: her first English words! During their bedtime ritual, Dawn was reading a simple word book to Kate, and she started mimicking almost everything Dawn said. She did really well with apple, ball, and cat [she’s clearly advanced and wanted to start in alphabetical order, even though the book is not organized that way]. She has her ups and downs, but hey, it’s been only 6 days since her world was turned upside down! She’s such a sweetie and we’re having a lot of fun getting to know each other.

A Visit with Friends

This morning we realized what a celebrity Kate is here in Guangzhou. We went to the “pedestrian street”, a labyrinth of open air markets and mall-type stores. Kate got plenty of attention, and our friend told us that the comments were very consistent: “she looks like a foreigner”, and “she’s pretty.” Our friend was a young girl who approached us about a block from our hotel and asked if she could practice her English with us. We’ve read various things about such encounters; certainly most of them have pure intentions. Well, our friend was very helpful and stayed with us for about 2 hours! Kate warmed up to her quickly, and she eventually carried Kate [which Dawn’s back applauded]. Most Chinese seem to think that Kate is our biological daughter, and are surprised when we tell them that she speaks Mandarin, not English.

Kate was walking more today, and continuing to be more confident to explore new things. She’s acting more like a toddler now, which means she doesn’t want to sit still at dinner [it takes me a long time to fill up eating with chopsticks] , and she likes to leave her mark in the hotel room or store by leaving stuff strewn everywhere. She seems to feel much better after 3 days of meds, although it seems Dawn got some of the bug with some fever & coughing. We are so glad that Kate is showing more of her true self. I convinced her to give me about 3 high-fives today – her first voluntary contact with me. She treats Chinese men the same way, so at least I don’t feel singled out. J

We had a really fun visit today with 2 of our friends who made the trip up from Hong Kong: Ruibin & Tracy were classmates of mine in grad school at Duke. It was great to catch up with them in their homeland and introduce them to Kate. Our reunion had a bit of a “Small World” feel, 8000 miles away from our first meeting, sipping green tea instead of Durham’s finest sweet tea. While chatting about our various jobs, I was reminded how refreshing it has been not having a vibrating Blackberry on me at all times. And the “great firewall of China” blocks us from Facebook and even Blogger [big thanks to my sister Sharon for posting our updates], so we feel quite out of touch. We learned via email that our son Sam rode his first horse [the non-carousel variety] and got his first bee sting today, so he’s making the most of his summer vacation!

Smiles all around!

On some days, you look for baby steps of progress. Other days are breakthroughs. Today was an amazing day where we saw a whole new side of Kate! When we were tucking her in bed for the night, Dawn said it well: “those last two hours were like a dream.” Kate was playing, laughing, smiling, and even talking a little. It took us both by surprise, and it made our hearts leap!

Here’s a quick run-down of today’s progress: I mentioned previously that she smiled a bit while I was gone doing paperwork after breakfast. Then we visited the Temple of Chen, and Kate agreed to walk around the temple. So far, she has whimpered almost every time Dawn would put her down in a public place. She showed a bit of independence as she would venture off [10 ft away from our hand] to explore. We were at the temple & its gift shop for a very long time, so the walking was a huge relief. At lunch she sat in her own chair. This afternoon, we visited the clinic for her official medical exam. She did great through the whole ordeal, which included a shot to test for TB. You’d think after not having a nap all day and going through a physical, she’d be wiped out. But when we got back to the hotel, she turned into the Friday night party girl. Her favorite game was Dawn’s “fish in the box”, where you stuff fish finger puppets in a long box, shake it up, and scream as they come flying out. Real fancy. But Kate loved it. It seemed that she smiled almost non-stop for 90 minutes while we played with her.

I’m sure part of her earlier sadness was because she had bronchitis [and is still recovering]. But I think the big part is grieving amidst the transition, and that will probably continue at some level for a long time. Tonight we were trying to enjoy the moment and keep riding the wave, not wanting it to end and not knowing how often she would act like that. We’ll see what tomorrow will bring. Thanks so much for all your prayers!

The Road to Recovery

Kate appears to be on the road to recovery. She’s been on antibiotics for about 24hrs for her bronchitis. This morning she had two big “firsts” with us: her first smile and first words. I missed them, unfortunately, but Dawn gave her a “zerbert” after a diaper change, and she responded with a toothy grin! Then when she was playing, she muttered a few words to herself. It’s really fun to see her slowly open up. She and Dawn enjoyed an episode of “Signing Times” this morning, so hopefully that will help the communication process.

We got some great tips about bonding & attachment from some friends on the Bai China group for parents of Chinese-born children with albinism. Very cool to be part of a supportive community! And I’ve been reviewing a good book called “Toddler Adoption” by Mary Hopkins-Best. If you’re considering a similar path, it has some good stuff about the challenges of adopting toddlers and their unique stage: too young to receive much preparation before the transition, yet old enough to be forming their own identity. She says that “parents of adopted toddlers should be able to de-personalize rejection, understand its origin, appreciate the honesty of it, and remain steadfast in their determination to connect with the rejecting child. It may take weeks, months, or even years before their love is reciprocated.” We’re encouraged that Kate continues to progress in bonding with Dawn and opening up, slowly showing more of her personality.

She plays more actively when we’re not sitting right next to her or playing with her. But if she’s on a separate bed, we can sneak peeks at her getting into her blocks, stacking toys, books, or photo albums. She’s been sleeping really well – about 11-12 hours a night – and is eating a decent amount. I’d say apples are her favorite so far.

Everything is better with Coke and French fries!

It’s our 3^rd morning with Kate. She’s still pretty sick but overall we’re making some progress with bonding. We just took her to the doctor in the clinic here at our hotel. Quite an experience. It’s a very nice western hotel, and the doctor was a very kind, older man. He said Kate has bronchitis. She wasn’t thrilled with the exam at all. The doctor apparently thought she was our biological kid because he asked her to “open your mouth” in English. Dawn politely said “oh, she speaks mandarin, not English.” Another American lady in the playroom also thought Kate was our bio kid. And when we go out, the Chinese are very intrigued and have to check her out, as albinism is extremely rare here. So the kind doctor hooked us up with some antibiotics, expectorant, Benadryl, & robitussin, and hopefully Kate is on the road to a speedy recovery.

Last night she ate her best meal yet. And the menu: KFC! The other family in our group requested some variety from the Chinese fare, and Kate chowed down on some fried chicken and French fries! It probably also helped a lot that we ate it in the hotel room, with no noise and tons of people. Our guide thought she wasn’t eating because she was sad & grieving, which makes sense, so her appetite is another good sign. The trend continued this morning when she ate a lot at breakfast. On Monday, we didn’t have time for a lengthy lunch between the airport and the adoption office, so we hit McDonald’s for a quick double cheese. I found it interestingly ironic that our pre-game meal was at the Arches.

Kate has continued to bond and attach to Dawn, which is great. She sits in dawn’s lap during meals and lets Dawn feed her by hand, which we’ve read is good for bonding. She was definitely not feeling the shopping cart in Carrefour, but thankfully for dawn’s sake she was ok with the sling. I had to check out the beverage section in the store. Coke is ubiquitous here – we’ve had it at every restaurant! Our guide checked the label and told us it was bottled in Huizhou, Kate’s hometown! So we’re doing our part to help her local economy and her college fund.

She’s probably never been around men in her life, so she still pulls away when I ask her if I can hold her. But she endures a friendly pat on the back with minimal frowning. One of my best friends in highschool always impressed me when one dis wouldn’t stop his pursuit, so I’ll be patient and not push it, but I’m not about to give up!

It’s Wednesday morning here and we’re gearing up for a once-in-a-century solar eclipse. China should offer a great view, but I’m guessing albinism and solar eclipses might be kind of like drinking & driving [except the combo is too rare to generate much activism]. I read a CNN article and it mentioned a guy from Atlanta who flew to China to witness it: he styled himself an ‘eclipse chaser.’ I guess I was wrong when I thought all the US families I see here came to meet their new child!

Kate is slowly adjusting to her new environment. She hasn’t cried much at all since we left the adoption office, but she does whimper on occasion. We tried to lay her down in her crib last night but she wasn’t down with that. On Monday night, we gave her a sponge bath and she did fine. Last night we progressed to a bath with dawn in the tub. She hasn’t said a word yet, but on monday night she talked in her sleep a few times – it was the first time we heard her voice. In the hotel room, she’s very chill. If we sit her on the bed while we do something, she just sits there, looking around. That’s kind of a new concept for us. Sam is neither a snuggler nor spectator.

Yesterday we returned to the adoption office for some paperwork, and she seemed pretty nervous, but also seemed interested in playing ball [cho] with a few other kids. We had to vow that we would love her, never abandon or abuse her in 2 different interviews at the adoption office. One guy didn’t seem too convinced with our answers and asked us several times to elaborate. [after I provided a succinct answer that I deemed satisfactory, the man politely turned to dawn with an outstretched hand, and said “more?”]. I don’t think he was being a jerk or intimidating, just thorough, which is fine with me.

Our guide, nicknamed Elvin, is fantastic. He’s 31 and very good with the kids, even though he doesn’t have children of his own yet. He earned bonus points last night when he drove to the airport to retrieve my lost luggage. [my jeans were not super fresh after 4 airports and hiking around Tiananmen square and the Great wall. And in case you think I’m the “over the top guy who wears the Coke shirt to meet his daughter”, I may be over the top but that was the only other shirt I packed in my carry on. Thankfully haute couture returned last night.]

Kate has a mild fever, cough & runny nose, to add to the emotional stress she’s under. She has not eaten much since we got her – but we hope and believe that will change soon enough.

She won’t let me hold her yet, but she wants dawn to carry her and hold her. She likes it when dawn carries her on her back, which is a mutually agreeable position since she weighs > 30 lbs.

The Big Day!

On Monday, at about 3:30pm china time, we met our new daughter Katherine Hui Seabolt. It was an incredible experience in so many ways. After a lengthy process with lots of curve balls, waiting periods, and uncertainty, there we were in the Guangzhou adoption center. We were jammed into one big room, maybe 600 square feet, with about 20 other families, all awaiting our new family members. The scene would have been a bit unnerving for almost any kid, let alone one that just left everything familiar and took the longest [and perhaps first] car ride of her life. Thankfully our rock-star guide was there to translate and help us. After filling out some final paperwork and hanging out for a bit, he said “ok, Stephen & dawn, come stand here in the middle of the room.” Someone said her name, “Hui Cheng Ru”, and there she comes. One of the orphanage workers was carrying her like a baby, and then they gave her to Dawn while whispering “bu ku, bu ku” [don’t cry].

It felt very surreal. When our son Sam was born, that was also surreal for me, but this was a different flavor of surreal. Kate sat with us for a while as other children came out and others around us played and cried. She was pretty stressed out, which seemed pretty appropriate in that environment. With the help of our guide, I quizzed kate's orphanage director who brought her about her daily habits, likes & dislikes, and any other tips. They seemed to care a lot for Kate, and we both exchanged thanks for caring for her, past & future.

There is one other family in our travel group who is also adopting from the Guangdong province, so after they met their daughter, we all got back in the van and came back to the hotel. [The art of navigating a vehicle through the city is simply an amazing thing to watch! Probably like an air traffic control screen at Atlanta’s airport, except it’s all crammed into a few over-crowded lanes and of course there’s no traffic controller.] Once we got to the car, Kate calmed down a good bit and was pretty chill throughout the evening.

It was simply an unforgettable and amazing day! We feel so blessed to have Kate in our family, and can’t wait to introduce her to her “di-di” [little brother] Sam.

Her nickname is “Mao-Mao”. Our guide told us that the meaning is somewhat connected to her fair hair color, but it’s also a common, sweet nickname. “Mao” rhymes with cow, and I believe it’s just a coincidence that it’s the name of the legendary Chinese leader.

She speaks Mandarin, not Cantonese! This really surprised me, just because I didn’t expect orphanage workers in a non-major city to speak the ‘official’ language of mandarin. But this is probably a good thing in the long run.

When dawn said “bao bao mao mao” [can I hold you, mao mao], Kate put up her hands. ‘Twas a very sweet moment.

Stephen

We are leaving for China in a few hours and we are so excited! I couldn't believe it, but I actually slept well last night! I hadn't slept well the night before because my sister-in-law was delivering my first nephew, and I was too excited. My parents are getting 2 new grand-kids within a week of each other! We know that God has ordained this adoption, so "big picture" I'm not nervous. But there are some little things that have me just a little bit anxious. Please pray for safe and event-free travel, that all the paper work would be as China expects it, and that little Kate would be prepared and ready for the transition. We know that it will be hard on her, but we do believe her orphanage has been explaining to her that we are coming. I hope she likes us and isn't scared of her new 6'4" Daddy!

One more week!

But who's counting? We are so ready to go and get our girl! Sam was telling everyone at the playground today that he has a sister in China named Kate. Today we received our actual Travel Approval document (our case manager had had it) and it is SO official-looking! We also received our Travel Visas! I am such a planner/packer/list-maker and I am having so much fun at this stage of the game. Getting together all of her cute, girlie outfits to pack has just made me giddy! For those interested, here is our itinerary:

Friday July 17th: leave ATL at 2:20pm

Saturday July 18th: arrive in Beijing at 10:30pm

Sunday July 19th: visit the Great Wall and the Forbidden City

Monday July 20th: fly to Guangzhou at 9:00am, meet Kate that afternoon!

Tuesday July 21st: Registration and Notarization

Wednesday July 22nd: Apply for Kate's passport

Thursday July 23rd: Local sight-seeing

Friday July 24th: Kate's physical and photos for visa

Saturday July 25th: visit the Temple of Six Banyan Trees and Ancestral Temple of Chen Family

Sunday July 26th: visit Liu Hua Lake Park

Monday July 27th: Get passport and results of physical

Tuesday July 28th: (our 8th wedding anniversary) apply for visa for Kate

Wednesday July 29th: pack-up, get visa

Thursday July 30th: leave Guagzhou for home at 9:15am, arrive in ATL at 2:55pm (it's a 20 hr flight with a 12 hr time difference-- should be fun!)